"No, I'm making a face ABOUT you."

"Are you making a face at me?"
"No, I'm making a face about you!"

The other day while at work, my good friend, Courtney, decided to stop on in after her long day of selling cosmetics made from dirt (literally; it's 'mineral' make-up). To my horror, the new assistant, Dan, decided that he wanted to Bogart the convo with his know-it-all, "I'm better than everyone" speeches. Which are the same things he tells me all the time! He is constantly annoying the shit out of me and constantly not taking the "I don't want to be talking to you" hints. It doesn't matter if I ignore him or try to read my book or drop hints about how I would love to be able to read my book or even if I ask him to leave me be! If I ignore him while trying to read my book, he gets up close to my ear and starts to sing; badly. And when he is not trying to annoy me to death, he is making pervy comments and hitting on me. Little does he know, he completely repulses me. So, by the time Courtney arrives, I am already secretly plotting his death.
For the first ten minutes of his squawking, I was mildly annoyed. After twenty, I was seething with anger. I'm pretty sure I was actually shaking from pure hatred of this gangly beanpole yakking my ears off. And all through his going on and on about how he is better at everything, acting like they should throw a parade in his honor, I'm not even sure he is breathing! Because he certainly was not pausing long enough for anyone to interject their opinions let alone let his winded lungs get some much needed oxygen. And all the while he is cracking himself up! Boy oh boy does this loser think he is funny! And let me tell you...he is not. Not even slightly. At this point, I'm no longer nodding along politely just waiting for the verbal assault on my ears to end, I'm staring at the computer screen in front of me willing him with my mind to please shut up. Poor polite Courtney is trying her best not to look at me for fear of laughing in this guy's face because she knows me well enough to know that this is going no where good for Mr. Dan.
Finally out of pure frustration, I do this sort of sign-grunt thing and stomp off to the back room. But as soon as I hear the door shut I realize that I have just broken the #1 rule of dealing with creepers and douche bags: Never leave a man behind. So I return to the front to save Courtney with determination. I have had enough and this has got to end. NOW. As he begins to fill me in on all the bullshit he has spewed out in my brief absence, I glare a him. I look to Courtney and she knows what's up. She knows I'm about to put the kibosh on this situation. But the guy catches this little eye exchange between us and asks me, "Are you making a face at me?" To which I replied, "No, I'm making a face about you. Don't you have anything else to be doing?"
He says a quick goodbye to Courtney who is now trying her best not to laugh out loud and hurt the poor guy's pride any further. Once he is gone we agree to wait and make fun of him once we are out of the salon and Courtney leaves because she has somewhere to be. He had officially wasted all of our allotted time for visiting.
When I went into the back room, there was Dan. And he looked a bit down and of course I knew why so I asked him, "Are you getting butt hurt because I didn't want to talk to you earlier?" He gives me the pouty lip and just nods. Again, he is trying to be funny. And again he is failing. So i say, "Well, get over it. She was here to visit me not you and you were not taking the hints." As I am getting the last few words out, I am also shutting the door so that I will undoubtedly get the last word in. I successfully avoid him for the rest of the night but since then he has apparently gotten over it and continued to be a complete pervy moron in my presence. Yay. Lucky me.