"I think I'm standing on a condom..."

"I think I'm standing on a condom! Oh, nope. I'm definitely standing on a condom."

That's right. I was standing on a condom. I was getting out of the car outside Fitzgeralds and to my surprise there seemed to be a condom shaped item underneath my feet. After a very brief investigation, I was able to confirm that I was in fact standing on top of a used condom. As gross as that would seem on any other day, I had to find the silver lining in the fact that I had opted for actual shoes rather that my normal flip flops. And once I thought about it, it wasn't even the worst thing I found on that short strip of road leading to Fitz's. Two doors down I encountered two very friendly bums who had just finished ralphing up their last few drinks while proceeding to ask for spare change. I was about two inches away from runny bum-barf all over my converse.
Once inside, i quickly realized that the place was without central AC. Bummer for sure. And after climbing the stairs to the main stage, I realized that alcohol plus large crowd plus uncomfortable humidity would equal not so much fun. So I wondered my completely sober ass over to the left hand side of the stage to get a listen of the band. I have no idea who was playing but I was totally creeped out by the bass player with massive dreads. The look on his face while he was playing was so distracting I couldn't even look at anything else. Hilarious! After them was this really bad ass band with the drummer as the lead singer which totally impressed me and my friends. But nothing compared to the next band who called themselves the "71's". Their music was alright. The drummer, guitar player, and bass player were above average I suppose. But their lead singer was who everyone was looking at. The man I like to call "Fancy Dancer".
As Fancy Dancer hopped his scrawny-ass up on stage, he threw on a pair of wal-mart sunglasses that must have been specially calibrated for night vision. This just further complimented his silk scarf wrapped around his neck and the khaki button up shirt that made him look just like a Brownie Scout. But then...he started dancing. He dropped it like it was hot, he pulled some moves from the Spice Girls, and he stopped in the name of love. That man can shake his booty better that Sporty Spice herself. When he pulled out his miniature megaphone and proceeded to shout into the microphone I had to laugh out loud. The music was pretty good so I have to give them that and they do know how to put on a show. I was thoroughly entertained. But they had nothing on the next band. Glass Intrepid (or Dev Electric as they will now be known as) was fucking awesome! One of the best bands I have heard in a long time and that includes mainstream bands. They were wickedly entertaining on top of their bad ass musical capabilities. Not to mention that the lead singer and bass player are fucking gorgeous so they are not exactly hard to look at! If you take one thing away from this blog, I hope it's that you look up this band. Trust me, you won't regret it!!!